Personality Function
by Chimera.Cain
Summary: After Cameron's accident John sees her as only a machine. He begins to push her away but can Cameron show him that shes different from the rest of them?
1. Chapter 1

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

John Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

Okay so what he was pretty sure that his mom would flip out if he knew what he was doing

"_You can't be trusted John."_

"_I don't have to prove myself to anyone especially you."_

Every since her accident he realized what she really was:

A terminator and nothing more.

He had let himself be so naïve that she could be more than that. That maybe she was different but he was wrong. She was just like the others. They were all the same underneath and she could go 'bad' just like the others could. He had finally seen her as a _machine_ and in turn pushed her away. It shamed and embarrassed that he let himself think of her as anything more.

In return she seemed to be to be acting differently too. How could she protect him if he wouldn't let her? That was her mission; her _purpose _and it seemed he had no problem taking that away from her. She began to watch him and follow him to no end because she knew somewhere that she was loosing him. And this confused her.

There were no answers to this problem in her programming.

Things were different before her accident. John was different. He was the only one who didn't look at her the way that Sarah or Derek looked at her. And now his emerald eyes showed the same apathy as the others.

And she didn't know what to do about it.

* * *

"John where are you going?" Cameron asked as she spotted him making his way out the door.

Cameron's sudden presence made him jump. How the hell did she do that? She always seemed to be sneaking up on him. After regaining his composure he sighed and looked at her tiredly. "I'm going out what does it look like?"

"Sarah told us-"

"I know what my Mom said," he interrupted. Sarah and Derek were out God knows where which left John and Cameron at home. As always he was instructed not to leave, no phone calls, and basically not to do anything but breathe.

The past few since she 'turned bad' and back again their relationship between them had been more hostile. "And I don't care." He turned once more to make an escape for the door.

The terminator's arm suddenly jolted between John and the door to block his passage way. "Where are you going?" she interrogated.

"It's not of your business. Now will you let me through?" he asked getting a little agitated. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and his lips turned into a thing irritated line.

"You are going to rendezvous with the female?" she asked tilting her head o the side.

John inwardly scoffed. Was this conversation really happening? Between his Mom and Cameron he really didn't have any freedom! "If you must know _yes. _I am going to '_rendezvous_ with that female' and that female's _name _is Riley." he said almost putting stress on every other word.

Was it so much to ask for a normal day?

Cameron stood immobile for a moment studying John and the possible consequences of his actions. She had to make sure that her mission: to protect John Connor, would not be jeopardized.

First of all

Riley was a female…and girls were well…complicated.

Although…

She did not pose any physical threat to John. Cameron had concluded that she did not possess the dexterity to wield a gun let alone aim a hit a target.

From the last she spoke to the girl she was completely oblivious to the fact that John was the future savior of mankind…including her.

But…

John had been spending a lot of time with her. He even had tried to running away to spend time with her. Cameron did not like that.

He had been spending a lot of time on the phone with her and had even taught her the secret code. She did not like that.

Riley had even spent the night at their house one spontaneous evening.

Her behavior was completely irrational and illogical although Cameron knew that this information was irrelevant.

She did _not_ like Riley.

She was not an immediate threat but she was an indirect one. Riley took John away and that it harder for her to protect him.

After a few seconds of silence she came to the conclusion. "No, you will not go meet Riley," she blatantly said.

This time John let out a hardened laugh. "Are you serious? You can't tell me what to do." He said trying to push her arm away with no avail. She had firmly placed her arm on the door frame and made no intention to move.

"Cameron _move_!" he said raising his voice to nearly yelling.

"No."

She had grabbed his upper arm as he tried to bypass her once more. "You cannot be allowed to leave the premises," she added.

He wasn't sure why she was so adamant about him not seeing Riley although he really didn't care to think about it at the moment. This had become more than just seeing a friend, this had become a battle of authority.

He pried her grip from his arm and took a step back and threw his arms up in the air in defeat. "What do you think you're doing!?" This time he was clearly yelling.

He gritted his teeth together in annoyance. This wasn't the first time that they had this kind of confrontation and probably wouldn't the last.

"I am taking the best course of action to ensure your safe-"

"Yeah well what about ensuring my sanity!" he interrupted her.

"The state of your sanity is irrelevant to meeting Riley. You will still remain sane if you do not meet with her," she explained. "I feel that this girl clouds your judgment. I feel that you should not see her.

Why? Why couldn't his future self just send back a robot that actually listened to him? Then something in John Connor exploded.

He couldn't take it anymore and all the pent up anger that he held exploded. He was angry at _her_. Things like her, machines, which made his life the living hell that it was. And now she wanted to stand in front of him and talk to him about how she _felt?_

"Shut up! I don't care do you understand? Your opinion is _irrelevant_. Your feelings are non-existent. You do not have an opinion. You do not have feelings because y_ou_ are just a machine."

"My programming allows me to come to logical conclusions that produce the best outcome for a situation. It allows me to understand human emotion and to imitate it," she replied as if she was trying to prove something to him and herself. As if she said

_See? I know hate, anger, happiness and love. I know what they feel like._

How did the conversation turn in to this?

"Yeah well tell me Cameron what would happen if I take out your CPU? Your personality is just a _function_. You may be able to pretend but you're not fooling anyone…but that's it. You'll only be able to pretend. Do you understand?"

She stood silent.

He stared at her through angry eyes as he let out all his frustration. He expected her to reply with another rebuking comment but she never did. She just stood there with her unblinking brown eyes as she lowered her arm from the door frame.

If he didn't know any better he would've thought that he had actually hurt her feelings. But _they _didn't have feelings…they couldn't...

His heart was beating as if he had just run a marathon and his breathing was irregular. He wasn't sure what had just happened.

And then he saw her lower her head and his heart broke. He could not believe he just said things he said but they had to be said…right?

_Your opinion is irrelevant. _

_Your feelings are non-existent. _

_You do not have an opinion. _

_You do not have feelings because you are just a machine._

She took a moment as if having an internal battle with herself before she nodded her head.

"Cameron I-"

"Yes, I understand. Thank you for explaining."

His green eyes followed her as she retreated up the stairs. Several times he almost called out to her but every time something held him back. The look on her face...

He wanted to go up and apologize for being so mean. For hurting her feelings…but that's when he stopped himself.

'_She was just a machine'_

Even with that last thought he couldn't make himself walk through the now unblocked doorway.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**


	2. Chapter 2

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

John Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

No…terminators did not die. They did not enter heaven or hell or limbo. They simple were shut down, on standby, or destroyed. Scary robots were destroyed and those that completed their mission were put on standby. Cameron knew this.

_I'm sorry for what I did._

She never wanted to hurt …John Connor.

_You have to understand. It wasn't me_

But John didn't understand. Not anymore.

John stopped understanding. He didn't explain things to her like he used to. He never smiled anymore. At her. At Sarah. At Derek. In turn she never visited him in his room anymore. They never 'made conversation'. She didn't think that it was something that she should do anymore.

The sound of gravel being crushed underneath tires snapped Cameron out of her trance like state. Looking out the window she saw the She zoomed in on the two male figures in the Dodge truck parking in front of the house. It must have been John and Derek coming back from WestPoint.

_Analyzing: Two males_

_Confirmed: John Connor and Resistance Derek Reese. _

_Mission: None._

_Reload._

_Mission: None._

_I'm sorry. It wasn't me._

* * *

Cameron paused and glanced up. Instantly she knew that something was wrong. Her scans had indicated that there was no threat, but she just _knew_ something wasn't right. She couldn't explain how, but she knew. It was impossible for her to possess a human ability such as _instinct. _No, she did not make decisions based on simple inklings that had no reasonable background. Her decisions were made based on logical conclusions…

There couldn't have been anything wrong, because if there was then her instinct would be correct. It was a human emotion and to acknowledge this…this…instinct would be to acknowledge that she possessed other emotions.

And she did not posses any emotions. She could not cry like Sarah did when she believed that no one was looking. She did not laugh like John did when something amused him. She was not bitter about the future like Derek was.

Cameron began to turn the key while a black figure caught her eye. Her scans indicated that he was a male but since his back was turned she could not complete a facial scan. She applied pressure to make the clockwise turn to start the car…and there it was again…that feeling that something bad was going to happen…

And then slowly she saw the man look over his shoulder making eye contact. "_I know you", _she thought.

But it was too late. Before Cameron could react a sea of flames engulfed her as bits and pieces of debris tore at her flesh.

And then darkness…

It took one hundred twenty seconds for her to come back online. But it only felt like a blink of an eye. Her HUD flashed several times before she could regain her composure. Her head flopped to the side a few times before she was able to look straight. Then finally…

_Online. Welcome Cameron Phillips. _

_Checking power levels…_

_Warning. External environment stimulus exceeding normal temperature. Immediate conduct for self-preservation is advised. Warning. External environmental…_

Cameron heeded the warning even though she did not need one. It was obvious to her what had happened and she knew what she needed to do. The damage done to her by the explosion was irrelevant. She was still functional and able to move.

She needed to get to John Connor.

A loud screech was made as Cameron ripped the car door open since it could not be opened normally. The explosion had bolted it shut and would not be opened by normal means. Luckily for her she didn't have the strength of a sixteen year old girl…instead she had the strength of ten times her size.

The door came off easily enough and fell to the pavement with a hallow thump, giving her access out of the car. She needed to get to John Connor.

Cameron searched her files for a facial match on the male she ID'ed just before the car exploded. Her head twitched slightly as she began to search her files at a lightening fast speed to find a match. 3.4245 seconds later a profile came up identifying the man as Sarkissian and a threat. On the side of her HUD a comprehensive scan display popped up.

_Damage: 45 damage to epidermal layer. 27 damage to endoskeleton. 57 overall functional ability. Damage to chip… … … scanning… … …. _

_Unknown damage. Recharge immediately. Starting standby mode. Offensive and defensive systems powering down in 5..4..3..--_

"No. Manual override. John Connor is in danger," she ordered. "I need to get to John…"

_Mission: Protect John Connor. _

_Confirmed._

Without any second thought she moved herself forward despite the risk of exposing her true identity as a terminator. Her epidermal layer on her cheek had been severely damaged to the point where her skin seemed to be flapping off her endoskeleton. Her leg had sustained damage as well and had impaired her ability to walk by some. Despite all this she still moved forward. She ignored the warnings for her self preservation, driven by an unknown force. Driven by her _need_ to get to him.

"John…I'm coming…" she whispered almost at an inaudible level. Suddenly another notice popped up in her HUD.

_Foreign material. Location: Parietal endoskull. _

Cameron turned her head as if to look at this 'foreign material' that protruded from the back of her head. Suddenly taking notice to the added weight she reached a slender arm back and grasped a piece of metal that had pierced through her head. Without so much as a wince she pulled the shard of debris from her endoskeleton before tossing it carelessly to the side.

_Warning. Unknown damage._

She blinked once before she began to move forward once more. She was making slower progress then she liked. The damage in her leg was worst than she thought.

She didn't care.

She did not feel pain. She did not feel the flames when they almost burned her skin off. But…there was something foreign to her that made her run an internal scan again and again and again. No matter how many times she questioned she got the same answer.

_  
Warning. Unknown damage_

Then what was this that she felt? Was this the 'unknown damage?' This unknown need that burned inside her that told her to go to him? This unknown feeling that told her that she _needed_ him? She had never felt pain…she couldn't but she knew that there was something inside her aching and hurting like she never felt before. And it grew stronger with each step she took. Each step she took closer to John.

It was overwhelming…this feeling. It was strong that…that…she felt her eyes…over flowing? She lifted a gloved hand to her cheek picking up a fallen tear from her dark brown eyes. Was she crying? Why was she crying? Her furrowed her brow as she analyzed the tears on her fingertips. There was no reason for her to cry. There was no external stimulus or situation that made her turn this function on. She didn't know what was happening. All she knew was that she was _so close_ to the door. So close to John. And then…

_Warning. Warning. Foreign infiltrator detected. Threat Level: Severe. _

Her face become static once more as a red warning flashed in her HUD. "Identify," Cameron spoke her orders out loud.

Infiltrator? She was not connected to any computer. Even if she was there was no computer advanced enough in the present that could infiltrate her CPU.

_Infiltrator Identification: unknown. _

Cameron tilted her head as if frustrated. She instantly set up an analysis of her systems. "Set up internal defense systems," she commanded taking an initiative.

_Identification required._

Cameron narrowed her eyes. How could her own CPU ask her for identification? "Identification: Cameron Phillips."

…

…

…

_Access Denied. Routing power to basic power systems in 9…8…_

"Manual override!" demanded. How was she denied access to her own CPU!? Panic struck her as she realized that she was loosing control. _Chip integrity: Compromised. _How was she supposed to fight this internal battle?

_6…_

Her eyes flashed a fierce blue, the true color of her eyes, as she struggled to take control of her system. "Rewriting system password and identification. Disabling offensive systems."

_Access Denied. Routing power to basic power systems in 4…_

"No!" Cameron knelt on the floor as she cradled her head shaking it violently as if that would help it stop. "No! Manual override! Identification: Cameron Phillips!" she yelled over and over again.

_Access Denied. Access Denied. Routing power to basic power systems in _2…

She shut her eyes as tears began to fall more freely. This new pain. Everything. It was too much. So she called to the only person that she ever thought of even though she knew he would not hear her. "John! Help me! John!"

And then in that elapsed time she lost control over everything. Collapsing to the floor she felt the foreign system take over. She was no longer Cameron. She no longer had a name.

_Routing Complete. Skynet systems online. _

_Welcome TOK715_

_Mission: Protect John Connor_

_Override._

_Mission: Terminate John Connor._

"I will never help you get to John Connor!" Cameron yelled clutching at the pavement.

Even though she didn't want to…even though she told her body no…she felt herself rise from the floor. As skynet took over her body she was still aware of everything around her. Cameron's mind was awake and residing somewhere inside.

"**You already did."**

* * *

_You have to understand. It wasn't me._

Cameron's eyes followed John's form as until he was out of her line of vision. Not a second later she heard the front door opened and two pairs of footsteps. Instantly she turned her attention on the two. Derek who had given her less then a glance walked straight to the kitchen. She analyzed his retreating form and saw that nothing was out of the ordinary…at least with Derek.

Turning back to the door she saw John with a wearing a solemn expression. Even though she knew that he was not in any physical danger she took a step towards him. "John?" she asked concerned.

Her presence must have surprised her because he flinched back slightly as he raised his eyes at her. "What?" he said a little sharper then he intended to.

She averted his gaze for a faltering moment which caused John to look at her more closely. Since when did she avert her gaze like that?

Turning back to him she said, "No. I was just conce-- I was about to inquire about your well being."

She didn't flinch or blink as John took a step forward. She realized her mistake but thankfully she had caught herself. She was about to express her _concern_ for his well being…but like John said…

_Your feelings are non-existent._

"I'm fine…Cameron…" he replied softening his tone. He took a side step around her but not before placing his hand on her shoulder for a brief moment. It was subtle and fleeting…but it was there. No smile but a sign of affection no less.

She felt it. The ache began to grow stronger. It made her turn around as soon as she felt him withdraw contact although he did not see her do so. He had his back turned and was retreating upstairs to his room.

"John…" she said softly to herself. Her eyes lingered on him and she stayed immobile for several moments pondering everything that had happened.

Ever since the accident everything was different. Things were different between her and John. Things were different with her…The ache inside her had grown to the point where she would cry at night when no one was looking. She didn't understand what was happening and actually feared it. As if it was going to consume her until she was nothing.

_System Analysis._

_Mission: None._

_Reload._

_Mission: None._

She knew what her mission was, even though her database did not confirm it. She knew that she was sent here to protect John Connor. After the accident she concluded that her mission files must have been damaged or deleted. That was what she told herself even though she knew it was illogical that ever other file was untouched and intact. She ignored the fact that her mission file was not _damaged_ but _empty_.

Her mission was her purpose. Her mission was to protect John. Without her mission she held no purpose. So she concluded to something…illogical. She would not tell him about the feeling that ached in her chest. She did not tell him or anyone that she no longer had an obligation to them. That she had no mission…because she knew what happened to scary robots and those that completed their missions.

_I don't want to go. Please, John,_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you Hinotima24, alon, Aaron Leach, Chad Lynch, The Blue Faerie, and J H Young for your reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

John Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

"_All of us wear masks."_

It was the calm before the storm. Seven days have passed since Westpoint. Seven days have passed since the last attack. This eerie calm had caused the Connors and one Derek Reese to be on edge. Cameron, on the other hand, carried herself with the same demeanor. Any feeling of anxiety or apprehension surly did not show on her face.

"_They can be worn out of love and the desire to remain close to those around us."_

She continued on with her usual patrol in the morning and at night. During the day she had picked up a curious habit of gazing out the living room window. Everyone had brushed it off as a standard precaution of surveillance. They never stopped to question her behavior or other habits that she had started to develop.

"_To spare them from the complicated realities of our frayed psyches."_

When she was gazing out the window she was looking a John. Of course she would make sure that he would never notice. If he did she was sure that he would've told her to stop or something along the lines of 'that's creepy'.

"_We trade honesty for companionship."_

"Hey. Snap out of it."

"_And in the process never truly know the hearts closest to us."_

Cameron shook her head ever so slightly as she heard John Connor calling to her. She tore her eyes away from the living room window, turning around to face him. Standing there she waited obediently for any orders if any.

"Didn't you hear the doorbell?" John asked with a cocked eyebrow. Out of the three humans in the household Sarah was the only one that noticed the subtle changes in the girl, although usually it was behaviorisms that she decided to brush off.

Cameron casually looked at the door as if waiting to hear the already rung doorbell ring. In turn John just looked at her dumbly and let out an agitated sigh before stepping around the combat chassis to open the door.

As soon as he opened the door he wore a surprised expression that was suddenly replaced with the faintest smile. It was a smile that reflected the wear and tear of what had happened lately. It was the kind of smile that someone smiled when they had already given up hope and were just going through the motions of the day…

_He never smiled anymore. At her. At Sarah. At Derek._

The large front door obscured Cameron's line of vision and she could not see who John had opened the door for. Curious to see who would create such a reaction from the Connor, Cameron took the two steps and took a place next to her 'brother'. She tilted her head and gave a hard stare to the blonde who stood at the Connor's front doorsteps.

"Um hey," Riley said with a strange smile as Cameron stared at her.

The blonde had always thought Cameron was a little…off ever since she first met her. The two girls had only had two or three interactions with each other, but Riley wasn't shy to say that the girl had serious separation anxiety disorder form her brother. She believed that Cameron harbored an unhealthy overprotective sisterly love over John and not to mention…she also had no idea of people's personal space. Many times Riley felt the need to step back two or three feet because Cameron would stand up so closer to her. Kind of…like how she was now.

"Yes? May I help you?" Cameron asked in a monotonous way still staring down Riley. The blonde no oblivious to the girl's tone of voice looked at John with a raised eyebrow. Before anyone could say anything Cameron glanced at John then back at Riley.

"John is not asking you. I am," Cameron said standing stoic and her arms resting at her sides. "You do not need to look at John."

"Cameron!" John gritted through his teeth. He turned his head to look at her but she kept her eyes fixated on the new girl. "Excuse us for a moment…" He let out another laugh to mask his anger and uneasiness.

He grabbed his 'sister's upper arm and pulled her away from Riley and back into the house out of earshot. He turned around so that Riley could not see him glare at Cameron. She just stared at him blankly wondering what she had done wrong. All she did was ask a question…

"What is your problem?" John asked demanding an answer as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"My scanners do not indicate any problem. I am functioning normally," was her simple response.

John narrowed his eyes at the brunette. Was she being serious? Or did she actually try to be sarcastic? "That's not what I mean Cameron and you know that." For a moment she stood silent staring into his emerald eyes.

"It is not my fault that the female does not possess a database advanced enough to answer simple questions and it is not in my ability to supply her with one."

John opened his mouth to speak but he choked back on his words. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or get angry. Instead his mouth hung open trying to comprehend what Cameron had said to him. Did she actually just show resentment towards Riley?

"Did you…just…wait…did you just call Riley stupid??" he asked looking at her closer. When she didn't respond he looked at her skeptically.

"Wait Cameron…are you…" John paused for a moment, debating with himself.

_She was just a machine._ She didn't know resentment. But then why would she make such a frivolous comment about Riley when the girl was completely irrelevant to her ultimate goal, which was to protect him. There was no reason for her to say that. There was no reason for her say such things…but…

"Cameron are you jealous?" he blurted out before he really thought it through. There was a twist of hopefulness in his voice that he failed to conceal. Even though he wished that he could take back his words he waited as if sitting on the edge of an edge waiting to jump into a free fall.

He knew that it was a stupid question because he already knew the answer. He knew that asking such a question was a complete waste of time. He knew that. He knew that. And yet…for that fleeting moment between them he saw something flash in her eyes. What was it? He even went as far as to wondering…Hope? Longing? Desire?

Something that wanted to say '_Yes, I am jealous.' _

Something that wanted to admit _'Yes, I do not like her'_

Something that said _'Yes, because I don't want to share you'_

It was a look that read:_ I want you to be mine John Connor._

An as the fleeting moment passed John was snapped back into reality as Cameron's voice broke into his thoughts.

"My programming allows me to come to logical conclusions that produce the best outcome for a situation. It allows me to understand human emotion and to imitate it."

John stood silent as he swallowed a lump in his throat. He recognized her words. They were the same ones from the other day. And then there it was again…the flash in her brown eyes, except there was something else that he read in her eyes. _Anger. Hurt. Sadness._

John took a small step forward unable to stay stationary when he saw her like this. Even though he told himself that she had no heart to feel sadness…his heart could. And right then…he felt that his heart felt enough for him and her even though he knew that it shouldn't have.

"Camer-" John started but he was interrupted

"Shut up! I don't care do you understand? Your opinion is _irrelevant_. Your feelings are non-existent. You do not have an opinion. You do not have feelings because y_ou_ are just a machine."

John cringed as she repeated what he said. It was _his _words but _her _voice. Although she didn't fail to leave out the bitterness and anger his tone of voice carried when he said those words.

She didn't leave out the way that he _intentionally_ wanted to hurt her, just because he _wished _that he _could_. He knew that didn't give him any right to say those things…but he also wished that she could smile because of the things that he said. Or that she could laugh at his jokes.

But above all he wished that she would be with him not just to protect him…but because she wanted to. That she would make conscious decisions irrelevant of her programming.

A pang of guilt rested in his chest. He had to remind himself that his words were justified. That she was not hurt by his words because…she couldn't. She just…couldn't…it wasn't possible. And yet he still felt guilty for everything he said.

"My personality is just a function," continued resulting back to her normal voice.

If was as if her -- no _his_ words were daggers digging into his chest. With every sentence the dagger dug deeper and deeper into his conscience wishing that he could take his already said words back. Ever since that day…he had buried his guilt only for it to resurface again.

"I can only pretend. Do you understand?" Cameron asked him looking unemotional as ever before. She stared firmly at him never leaving his gaze.

There it was again. The tone in her voice. And that's when he knew that what she said didn't reflect anything she believed. Instead her eyes said…

_I want you to feel guilty for hurting me._

And he did…

His brow furrowed and his lips creased into a frown. It was an expression that someone wore when they had a revelation which usually followed by fault. It didn't help that Cameron throughout the whole thing had refused to willingly tell him how much he had hurt her.

"I…Cameron…I—" John who was unable to comprehend his thoughts at the moment was interrupted for the second time that day.

"Am I…interrupting something?" Riley questioned looking between the two.

He turned sideways as did Cameron to see Riley. She had taken the liberty of letting herself in the house when the two didn't return to the front door for sometime. From her point of view she could tell that they two were talking about something serious. John's demeanor had changed and he was no longer cheerful like when he had first answered the door. Cameron on the other hand was unreadable.

Slowly taking her eyes of Cameron she looked at John. "C'mon we're going to miss the movie. Remember? Or did you forget already?" she asked smiling and ignoring Cameron's presence.

John averted his gaze to the floor as he shifted his weight uneasily. "Oh yeah right. Riley…maybe today isn't…"

"Aw c'mon don't tell me that you're bailing out on me again? You still owe me for last week!" she whined as she placed her hands on her hips in a flirtatious manner.

Cameron scanned the girl and confirmed her first conclusions. Riley definely did not have an advance database.

"No I'm not. Me and my sister just need to talk abo-"

Riley suddenly stepped forward and abruptly took hold of John's hand. Cameron took note of this.

_Analyzing threat. _

_Threat level: None._

_Reanalyzing threat._

_Threat level: None._

She flashed a smile to Cameron before saying "You know you two spend waaaaay too much time together!" She tugged on John's arm as she tried to make a getaway towards the door.

"Don't worry Cameron I'll take good care of him. After all _it is _my turn to borrow him," she said quit blatantly.

Cameron just stared at her.

_Termination Analysis_

_Target: Female. Riley. _

_Termination not required. _

_Reason: Inconclusive evidential support. No threat._

_Reanalyze. _

_Termination not required._

Cameron shifted her weight slightly almost as if disappointed.

John bewildered by Riley's behavior had no time to resist. He looked back at Cameron who had not moved from her spot. She watched the two leave…or rather watched John leave until he was out of sight. He wished that she would stay with him and make conscious decisions despite her programming.

_System Analysis._

_Mission: None._

_Reload._

_Mission: None._

He didn't know that she already did. He didn't know that she choose to stay with him and he never would.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you Jason, Aaron Leach, Chad Lynch, JovialShogun, Hinotima24, and GreyWolf D'ancanto for your reviews!**

**Chad Lynch - I think it's definely something that she was to worry about! Or at least something that John, Sarah, and Derek have to worry about since now she has a chance to turn on them...**

**Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this!**


	4. Chapter 4

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

General Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

_"In 1678, doctors diagnosed the mental affliction soldiers suffered from as "nostalgia."_

She stood standing motionless facing the window so she could scan the perimeter every thirty seconds.

She remembered how he looked.

She remembered how he smelled.

A night sky blanketed over the guarded house. Everyone fell into a standby mode that humans called slumber. Everyone but her, for terminators did not need sleep. They did not dream or require nutritional sustenance. No, they did not harbor any of those needs, but for one terminator it was different. When sleep did not come for Cameron, in her silent solitude, beautiful haunting memories came for her instead.

She remembered how he moved.

She remembered how he felt.

At night when she didn't sleep she remembered how things used to be. How they would be…or were in the future. She remembered the day she found John at his school, when her mission to protect him had been activated to full effect. There were times when she recalled moments with Derek and Sarah. Or the times that she had fought victoriously against other terminators: her kind. But most of all she remembered **him**.

She remembered the days with him in hell. Despite the world being a barren wasteland, in the future humans still fought for their right of existence. She battled along side them but her reasons differed from theirs. She fought beside **him**. She fought for and only him.

* * *

_"Homesickness"_

General John Connor, the leader and savior of mankind, slept soundlessly. The General's room was unadorned. Instead the walls were bare rusted metal and the small cot where he laid was dipping under his weight. The only sound that could be heard was a dripping from one of the dark corners of the cramped room due to a leak. And the occasional flickering of the on and off single light bulb in the middle of the room. There was barely enough room for one person to lie down and sleep, let alone two. That was probably why Cameron chose to stand, instead of lay by his side.

Every thirty seconds she would scan the perimeter for any threats.

She knew nothing before him; before he found her and fixed her. Her mind was being poisoned by the virus of Skynet. He had set her free. And because of that she never left his side.

The soft noise of ruffling sheets caused her to avert her gaze back at General Connor's now waking form. A grunt escaped from his lips as he raised his arms to stretch and push him up. He made no special acknowledgement to the female figure casting a shadow over his brow, who was watching him very intensely. It seemed that her presence un-phased him and her watching over him was somewhat of a welcomed routine. It wasn't until a moment passed under her forceful gaze that he raised a brow.

Every time he looked at her he resisted the urge to flinch or shudder. He couldn't believe that just a few weeks ago this same girl came through the came impersonating Allison Young with a mission solely to terminate him. Now all she did was cling to his side like a lost puppy and afraid to be alone or separated.

She hadn't changed.

Not at all. She was still the same Cameron that he remembered; the same one that he met and lost when he was sixteen. The only difference now was he saw her for who she really was.

Something…no someone that should be treasured and appreciated. Someone he didn't want to let go.

He didn't casually brush her aside like his sixteen year old self did many years ago. He didn't push her away or ignore her humanity as he did before. He wished, but knew that they would never be given the time that he felt they truly deserved. Fate would be cruel twice to them.

First he would be too arrogant to realize her unconditional devotion to him. Even though he would promise himself that he wouldn't make the same mistake twice when they met again, it would be a short reunion before he would have to send her back. Back to his arrogant sixteen year old self that would not appreciate her.

It would be too late for them.

The paradox made him scoff out loud.

The General's sudden outburst caused Cameron confusion. Tilting her head she scanned the male figure before her then scanned the surroundings of the room as if to look for 'what was so funny'. When she failed to see what he was laughing at she decided to inquire.

"I do not understand," she said monotonously.

"Neither do I…" he said shaking his head as his laughter died.

* * *

_"A longing to return to the past."_

Things were different in the future. He had told her that there were things that he wouldn't be able to teach her. That there were things that only John Connor could show her that General Connor could not. She did not believe him. He said that she would. It wasn't until now that she realized that she really just didn't want to leave him.

Another thirty seconds passed and the perimeter was checked.

Her head turned towards the stairwell. Up the fifteen flights of stairs to the second floor would be where the bedrooms and sleeping souls resided. Or at least so she thought. The sound of creaking floorboards caught her attention and instantly she went on alert. There were several simple reasons for the cause of the noise.

Someone could have been going to the bathroom.

Someone could have been turning in their sleep.

It could have been a mouse.

Or.

It could be someone or something that was an imminent threat to John Connor.

The last reason had caused Cameron to back pocket her 9mm as she headed towards the stairwell.

* * *

_"The cruel reality of war is that there is no return home."_

It had been four days since John had fixed her. Everything was foreign to her. In skynet everything was one coherent unit. There was no individuality or determination. Here, everyone had a different story of why they were here and how they survived. Everything was new to Cameron. The only thing familiar to her was the man standing by her side.

As he took a step forward she followed. Both of them would continue on patrolling the camp. Well…Connor was patrolling the camp, while Cameron all of a sudden decided to follow. She wasn't oblivious to the stares that she received as she walked by his side. And the whispers that weren't meant for her ears weren't exactly private either.

"Who is she?"

"Isn't she one of them?"

"Why does she follow the General all the time?"

"She shouldn't be allowed near him."

"She could turn on us."

"How could he trust her so quickly?"

"She's following him around like she's his girlfriend or something."

"Seriously…you know she's in his room like every night."

"Oh my god…can you imagine what they do in there?"

The last comment was heard from a teenaged female conversing with another female that was possibly her sister. Cameron glanced at the two for a fleeting moment which caused them to stop short in their conversation.

_Definition. Girlfriend… … … Unknown._

Cameron tilted her head as she continued to follow Connor's footsteps.

_Inputting Collaborative information. _

_Definition. Girlfriend. Following someone around. Imagining what to do in a room every night. _

Cameron saved the definition for later use. She was about to inform Connor about the new definition that she had learned but someone had stopped the two in their tracks. Her scanners picked up on the male and any known information was displayed on her HUD.

_Scanning… … … Retrieving Files… … …_

_Name: Male - Derek Reese. _

_Age: Middle Thirties. _

_Known Affiliations: Resistance Member. General John Connor's uncle. _

"Connor." Derek looked between the two of them with crinkled brow out of frustration. It didn't take a high intelligent AI to realize that Reese wasn't exactly comfortable with the picture before him: That Metal and his General.

"What is it?" Connor questioned even though he knew exactly what Reese was going to say. He stood defiant in front of his uncle. He was the leader of mankind and a metal was following him around. But what Derek didn't understand was that Cameron wasn't one of them. She wasn't just a metal.

"What are you doing?" he asked pointing his eyes at the female next time him. He then completely disregarded Cameron's presence there after.

Cameron on the other hand was looking back and forth between the two. Watching their behavior and taking note of it. She had seen people have conversations before. They were mostly between Connor and another. From her observations one would talk then the other would wait to respond. She wondered when it would be her turn to speak.

"Derek this isn't exactly the time…" Connor replied not wanting to have his conversation in front of Cameron.

"When is the right time? You know it's been four days. Four days Connor. How long are you going to wait?" Reese retorted.

"Derek. We'll talk about this later. That's an order."

Connor looked up at his uncle with hardened eyes. He didn't care that everyone disagreed with who he spent his time with. Especially since she was one of _them._ Or so they thought. John knew differently. He made a motion to step around Reese shortly followed by Cameron.

Cameron gave one more lingering look at Derek before she returned to faithfully following John. Before they were out of ear shot Derek called out to his nephew.

"I'm not just some resistance fighter Connor. I'm still your uncle. Remember that. Who is she to you?" Reese said to John's back.

_Analysis _

_Direct Comment. _

_Confirmed. _

_Enter Conversation. _

John turned on his heel to his uncle with a look of rage, but before he could get in one word Cameron spoke.

"I am John's girlfriend. I follow him around. Can you imagine what we do in his room every night?"

_Mission__: Enter Conversation._

_Successful. _

_New Vocabulary used._

_Successful. _

When Derek did not respond she took it as a cue that the conversation was over. Cameron was pleased that she had executed her side of the conversation successfully. So when John had grabbed her upper arm and started to drag her away she wore a face of confusion.

"Cameron! Cameron… I can't believe you just said that… … … to Derek of all people. What were you thinking?!"

John was ushering her down the halls not going in any particular direction. As long as it was away from his uncle. He shuddered remembering his face just moments ago. He was going to have to pay for that one…he was sure of it. He just hoped that he could prolong that as much as possible. He continued to drag Cameron until they reached his quarters. Upon their arrival he sat her down on the cot and paced around the room.

"I don't understand." Cameron finally spoke up snapping Connor out of his trance.

"You can not say that. Especially to Derek. Do you understand?" Connor responded turning towards her.

"No." Cameron sat on the cot unaware of the mistake that she had just made.

"You can't go around telling people you're my girlfriend."

"Why not?" she inquired tilting her head slightly.

Connor frowned at her. He remembered when she would ask him questions in the same fashion in the past.

"Because…do you even know what the term girlfriend means?"

"Yes. Defenition. Girlfriend. Following someone around. Imagining what to do in a room every night," she said as she sat up proudly on the edge of the cot.

The General let out a slightly laugh at her definition. His laugh was followed by a sigh as he sat down next to her. "No…that's not exactly what it is. A girlfriend is a female that a male is romantically involved with. Boyfriend is the male term. Do you understand now?" he asked her.

"Romantically?"

Connor sighed once more wishing that he could just throw her a dictionary. "It means showing strong affection for someone. Caring about someone and wanting to be around that person all the time…" he said in a somber voice.

Cameron took a moment to comprehend and diagnose the information before nodding her head. "Yes, thank you for explaining."

_Overwriting Girlfriend Definition. _

_New Definition. Giirlfriend: Caring about someone and wanting to be around that person all the time. _

_Synonym. Boyfriend. _

She understood now. To be someone's girlfriend she would have to care about someone and want to be around that someone all the time. For her that was only one person…

"May I be your girlfriend John Connor?" Cameron asked innocently.

* * *

_"No return to innocence."_

Cameron climbed the fifteen flights of stairs to the second floor. She passed her room on the right and Sarah's room to the left to reach John's room at the end of the hallway. An orange glow of light was emitting from the cracks of the door and she concluded that John must be awake. Just as she was about to turn around the faintest of voices could be heard on the other side of the door. What was that noise…laughter? Looking at the door for a moment she hesitated on her next course of action. Breaking down the door seemed to be an excessive use of energy so she resorted to turning the door knob instead.

As she opened the door she saw a familiar blonde lying next to her 'brother' on his bed.

_Scanning… … … Retrieving Files… … …_

_Name: Female - Riley. _

_Age: Sixteen to Seventeen _

_Known Affiliations: John Connor. _

_Other Information: Does not possess a database advanced enough to answer simple questions _

There was an awkward silence that hung in there air between the three. Cameron's eyes darted between John and Riley…then to John's bed. His kid sized bed was the same size of the cots that were used as beds during the time of the resistance.

* * *

_"No words of comfort."_

Night time came again. It was Cameron's favorite part of the day. When all of the camp was quiet and shifts were taken to take watch was Cameron's time to be with John. The heel of her boot hitting the floor made an echo through the room causing attention towards her. People dressed in rags hugged to the corners of the wall. Some preferred their own isolation, while others huddled close together for comfort. Wandering eyes followed her as she made her way towards **his** room. As she reached the General's door she smiled the smallest of smiles.

She didn't need to knock or request of special meeting the General Connor.

Instead she could casually walk in uninvited with none to stop her. And she did. Every night. Except this would be one of the last nights until he would send her back to protect his fifteen year old self. Her small petite hand easily pushed open the heavy door. It groaned open as Cameron let herself in before closing the door behind her. On the other side of the room she saw General Connor laying on the bed looking up casually at the ceiling.

It wasn't until she was hovering over him that he made eye contact with her brown eyes. His green eyes kept a keen watch over her making note of her every move and expression. She shifted uneasily under his gaze unfamiliar with this type of attention.

He continued to watch her as she looked for what to do with herself. Finally he scooted over making an empty space on the small cot. Several options went through her mind. Sit? Lay? Terminate? She decided on her second option.

Awkwardly she set herself down on the cot next to the General who was still watching her ever move. It was as if everything she did or experienced was new to her. It made a small smile play on his lips. He turned his head and closed his eyes but felt her watching him by his side.

"Aren't you going to close your eyes or something?" he questioned her as sleep threatened to take over him.

"I don't-

"Sleep. I know," he replied before falling into a slumber.

Cameron heard Connor's breathing steady itself and she knew that he was deeply asleep. Turning on her side she raised a small hand and rested it on his chest. She felt his heart beat beneath her hand as his chest rose and fell evenly with each breath.

In the empty silence of the room Cameron whispered, "I don't want to go. Please John..."

She waited for an answer but received no reply.

* * *

_"No words of forgiveness."_

Cameron stood at the doorway staring at the two with a blank face. Riley and John just stared dumbfounded that someone would barge into someone's room just like she did. John's surprise was quickly replaced by anger once he realized what had just happened.

"Cameron. What are you doing?" John questioned as he sat himself up. In turn Riley also pushed herself up into a sitting position.

"I thought I heard something," she replied not taking her eyes off the two.

"That would be us talking?" Riley asked tilting her head with a slight attitude. The blonde honestly had a hard enough time trying to figure out John's sister, but trying to figure out their sibling relationship was like solving a puzzle in another language.

"Well you didn't. So would you please get out of my room and let Riley and let us continue our conversation please?" John said agitatedly.

Cameron did not like the attention that she was receiving from the two. Clearly they were not pleased with her uninvited presence. The best course of action that she could think of was just to smile and pretend to brush it off as a mistake. Rule number twenty six of an infiltrator is to known how and when to make an escape.

"Sorry," she began smiling sheepishly. "I-

"No, **don't.** Just leave me and Riley alone and close the door behind you," John said resentfully.

Seeing Cameron's smile had sent him over the edge. He knew that she didn't _want _to smile. It was all only a façade. He was sick of it all. Her lies. How she pretended to have feelings. All of it. Why should he invest any more of his real emotion when he had someone real sitting right next to him? Someone that could return his feelings and laugh because she wanted to, not because it was apart of her programming. So he wasn't sure why his angry was crumbling when her smile disappeared from Cameron's face.

The brunette female looked at Riley who wore a smug face then returned to looking at John. Was he angry at her? What had she done wrong?

_Analyzing Female: _

_Threat Level: None._

Once she had confirmed there was no imminent threat Cameron dropped her eyes from John's. Turning around she began to walk out the door. She didn't bother to explain herself any further, smile, or brush it off. Silently she walked out to the hallway ready to close the door. But before she was able to close the door however she heard John say one more thing to her.

"Next time try knocking okay?" he called out to her before she was out of ear shot.

Cameron jerked her eyes up at him almost shocked by his words. Her face was devoid of any emotion but she remembered…she never had to knock before. Without a sound she closed the door leaving Riley and John back to their conversation.

_"No words at all."_

She was sure that she could successfully join in the conversation…

She would never know however, because John's door was closed and she would have to knock to come back in. Even if she did they had made it clear that they did not want her company. She turned around and went back down the stairs back to her post. It had been exactly four minutes and thirty two seconds since she had scanned the perimeter.

As she took her familiar spot near the window her eyes began to wander over the landscape. Memories once again began to haunt her mind and she wondered if things would ever be the same. As in the past or in the future.

If she would ever be able to walk in uninvited or without knocking

If she would ever be able to walk along side John once more.

If it would ever be how it used to be: Just him and her.

She stood silently keeping a guarded watch and that was when she knew that something inside her was broken and that she needed John to fix her once again.

_"What is lost is lost forever."_

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you ev80, T888, Rachel, SmallDL, Dirt Rider 712, Hinotima24, Al, random girl, X-PANIC, jojobevco, Myxale, The Blue Faerie, King Steve, Aaron Leach, Maria, and JovialShogun for your reviews!**


	5. Chapter 5

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

John Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

_"We all have weak moments."_

What was she now?

Now that she was weak?

Now that she was flawed.

Was she human now because she was broken?

_"Moments where we lose faith."_

It wasn't something that wasn't in her programming. It wasn't something that she could understand. It wasn't part of her mission parameters to gain the knowledge of what this faith meant…even though she heard people use it many times before. She noticed people had thrown the word around many times in the future when they were tired or sad.

I have F A I T H….

We can win this war…

This will get better…

We will see them again…

They're still alive…

I have faith in **you **General John Connor.

I would die for John Connor.

She also heard people use the word **hope, **and over time she learned the difference between the two. The people who held hope were different from the people who had faith.

When people lost faith they often replaced it with hope.

Even though it wasn't in her programming she began to understand what faith was and what hope was. Hope was something that people held close to their heart wishingand praying for a miracle. Faith was different. Faith was something people possessed that rid them off all their fear because they knew that everything would be alright.

People who had faith were more dangerous than people who had hope.

Because they sat there K N O W I N G that a miracle would come.

But she knew it when she **saw** it. She remembered seeing it reflecting in **h i s** eyes. She remembered seeing faith in his eyes when she was covered in asphalt with the gun in her hand. [completefaith] The gun that **John** had placed in her hands. He had complete faith in her. People who had faith were dangerous.

_"Are you here to kill me?"_

No, she said. No she wasn't here to kill him. No she didn't want to hurt him.

But…it confused her when she saw nothing in his eyes. No fear. No guilt. His gaze never wavered from hers because he had faith in her even though she just tried to kill him.

He held out his hand to her and she knew that she shouldn't have taken it. He had put himself in danger by having f a i t h in her. She failed her mission. Broken the rules. She had tried to terminate what she held at top priority. And even though she had almost killed him – he was still holding his hand out to her.

That was his mistake.

_"But it's our flaws, our weaknesses that make us human."_

And even though she knew that she shouldn't have…she took his hand anyway. She was weak and selfish because she knew that she didn't want to be without him. She took his hand even though she knew that she was a danger to him and a walking contradiction to her own mission. Even though…even though she couldn't stay away from him.

He was hear weakness.

He was her flaw.

That event took place approximately eight days, sixteen hours, thirty four minutes, and twenty three seconds ago. Now, Cameron stood on the porch of the Connor's 'new house'. For a moment she looked _real_ and _human. _To a bystander she would look like a normal girl with weakness and faults and eyes that appeared to be revealing emptiness inside.

If someone were to look a **little** closer they would see the staples on her face and the clotted blood on her brow and know that something just wasn't right.

Just as John Connor knew something wasn't right.

From inside the doorway his eyes settled on intently watching the machine/thing/it that almost killed him and his mother. John knew what she really was. She wasn't a girl despite what she looked like. It was a killing machine. Metal. A human imitation. A doll.

And even though, he couldn't understand it. There were sometimes he couldn't understand why she acted the way she did. Why she said the things she said. Why she did the things she did.

With his arms crossed over his chest he leaned back on the door frame watching the machine/thing/it for something…maybe a sign or for it to make a move. Or maybe an answer.

_"There are things machines will never do."_

She turned her head ever so slightly locking her eyes with his. She didn't see faith like she saw before. There was only resentment, anger, and frustration. No faith.

"Enjoying the scenery?" he flatly asked.

Her eyes tore from him and scanned over the back yard.

_Scanning… … … … _

_Objects identified: Convolvulaceae. _

_Commonly known as the flower morning glory. _

_Scanning… … … _

_Objects identified: monocotyledonous green plants_

_Commonly known as grass. _

_Attention: Monocotyledonous green plants are in need of dihydrogen monoxide or water. _

"The morning glories are functioning but grass needs to be watered."

John scoffed at her answer. It was logical. Completely…mechanical. "I asked if you were enjoying it not to critique it," he said pushing off the doorframe and walking towards her. "But then again I guess that's not how you're programmed to function."

_"They cannot appreciate beauty."_

Cameron turned towards him tilting her head slightly.

"No it's not how I'm programmed. Every detail of the perimeter must be examined and inspected for possible threat. Just as every person must be profiled. I do not…enjoy scenery."

"I don't think the grass is much of a threat to me or the future," he retorted crossing his arms across his chest.

"There is no grass in the future…" Cameron trailed off.

"Right…" John began to lean on the porch fence after hearing her cryptic answer. Turning his head he saw her still looking on the yard. "If it worries you so much why don't you water it?"

"Watering the grass is irrelevant," was her curt answer. "My mission---"

"Is to protect me."

glanced back at him.

"Right I know. I've heard it before," he replied tired of hearing it returning to looking at the yard.

No.

If only he had searched a little further. If only he had looked a little longer he would've seen it in her eyes. _No…I don't have a mission anymore. _If he would have paid attention he would've seen her asking _'What's happening to me?' _But he didn't. He never looked at her anymore. All he did was look right through her, past her, but not at her. And it scared her because she knew that she was loosing him.

Her programming was supposed to be the reason she acted the way she did. Why she said the things she said. Why she did the things she did. Everything she was meant to do was to corroborate the mission protect John Connor.

_Mission__: None_

_Manual coding input… … …_

_Mission__: Protect John Connor._

_Denied. Authorization Required. _

_'Cameron Phillips'_

_Denied. General John Connor's authorization required._

She still acted the way she acted. Said the things she said. And did the things she did. She didn't know why. She didn't have to. There wasn't a schedule to keep her on task or any orders for her to follow. There was no purpose to secure the perimeter. There was no mission.

Her gaze continued to linger on his retreating form. He was lost in his own thoughts completely oblivious to her stare. There were no orders to stay with him; to protect him.

Without any word Cameron turned on her heel and made a path towards the house causing John to raise an inquisitive brow. "The perimeter is secure. I'm going inside."

But she did. She stayed and she didn't know why.

John sat up straight and watched her retreat into the house. "Alright bye!" he said somewhat agitated that his only social interaction was with a machine. He had half considered talking to a wall instead. He was about to go about his way when he saw Cameron stop and abruptly change directions…towards the chimney. John furrowed his brow as he took a step forward to monitor his protector's actions. She loitered around the structure before reaching a long slender hand up the fireplace.

He didn't understand why she acted the way she acted.

Taking a few more steps forward he finally decided to interrogate her of her actions. He had seen her engage in a lot of awkward behavior. Usually it was only a result of her coming to a logical conclusion that her actions would in some how protect him. But…honestly what could be so dangerous up in the fireplace?

"What are y—" Before he could finish he saw her dip down and come back up holding something in her hand. He blinked at the sight of Cameron holding a pigeon in her hand. He recalled her saying something about 'shooting the bird in the chimney' a few days back. His eyes slightly widened as an image of Cameron shooting the innocent bird point black entered his mind. "Oh god Cameron. Wait you're not going to—!"

The female terminator completely ignored him she started to make her way towards the back yard. She looked up for a brief moment as if he was distracting her from something very important. "He can't stay here," was her simple explanation. She then continued on to the yard as if precious time was wasted on enlightening John.

He didn't understand why she said the things she said.

John watched the whole even unravel before his eyes. He had seen her do many things...jump through a window…ram a moving car…terminate her own kind…but he had never seen her do something…like this.

Once she reached the porch fence she raised her hand and released her grasp on the animal letting it free. The bird began to flutter before it picked up enough speed to take full flight. She watched it intently leave in the few seconds it took for it to fly out of sight.

He didn't know why she did the things she did…

Only then did she return to the house passing John on her way.

And if only she had searched a little further. If only she had looked a little longer she would've seen it in his eyes. The same eyes that were watching her walk away at that very moment.

_Hope._

But she didn't and neither did he. He should have stopped her but didn't. She should have turned around, but kept on walking. They should have done so many things that were never done.

_"They cannot possess faith."_

No she didn't possess faith. She did not commune with God. She did not appreciate beauty like humans did.

But she would be the only terminator to know regret for letting him bring her back.

She would be the only one to know guilt for hurting him.

And she would forever live in fear that she could do it again.

Even though it wasn't in her programming she knew what these things meant. She knew how these things **felt.**

Not quite human. Not quite machine.

Now **W h a t** was she now?

_"If they ever learn these things, they won't have to destroy us. They'll be us."_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you Aaron Leach, frostykist, Jarvey, The Blue Faerie, Dirt Rider 712, Anonymous, Hinotima24, badkidoh, Starman800, ev80, daemondark, disinterested, TrapedSoul, and jojobevco** **for your reviews!**

**Sorry if this chapter seems a bit slow...I hope you guys will like it nonetheless!**


	6. Chapter 6

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

Kyle Reese

&

Sarah Connor

* * *

_"John_ _Connor gave me a picture of you, once…I didn't know why, at the time. You were young, like you are now."_

12:03AM

The large red numbers on her digital clock illuminated the left side of her bed. It sat atop her bed rest silently counting the minutes away until morning. 

She didn't sleep. She rarely slept. Not because she was a machine but because sleep refused to come to her. Instead memories of the past would come to visit her. Some she wanted to remember and some she wanted to forget. Then there were the questions. Questions that she would asked herself…There were times when she would remember John as a little boy. When he was still a child. When he still had his innocence. She had robbed him of his childhood. And for what? To train him? To protect him? She wasn't quite sure. There was a pang of guilt that clutched at her chest each time she thought of it.

At times like this she wondered how his life would have been if they were allowed to live like normal people. What if there was no war? No machines? No Cameron… If the future wasn't the way it was would she still have met _him_? Would he still have come for her? Would John still be hers?

She hated the war. She hated skynet. She hated it all.

But it gave her Kyle. It still gave her John.

If they stopped skynet would she still have had Kyle? Would she still have had John?

Or would she do anything to have Kyle back? Anything to keep John? Even if it meant allocating the war? She was scared to know the answer.

These were the things that she thought about at night when everyone was sleeping. Each night these thoughts haunted her. The questions that she asked herself over and over again. These were the reasons why she didn't sleep.

_"I always wondered what you were thinking at that moment."_

12:05AM

She rolled over turning her back to the bright red numbers. The memories of him kept disturbing her thoughts. She wondered what it would have been like if he was there when John was born. If she had a chance to tell him…or to see him just one more time. Sometimes if she pretended hard enough she felt him near.

She let out a soft sigh as she closed her eyes.

She was good at that.

Telling lies to herself until she believed. Until she was certain that she could hold him again. So that she could see him again if only in her dreams.

She took in a deep breath but this time breathing in a breath of…cold air? She let the chilly air fill her chest until she opened her eyes to reveal the scene in front of her. With her knees bent she crossed arms and rested them on her knees. Meanwhile her velvet brown eyes scanned the scenery. She recognized this place…

She dreamt of this place often.

Her eyes danced from the barren ground to the trees rooted in front of her. Dead branches hung low from the tree trunks as fog circled air. It was a cold night but she had her black jacket and combat boots on. After all she was Sarah Connor. It would take more than a chilly night to stop her.

"I've been here before…but it wasn't like this…"

"It's probably a little bit different in the present," a voice from behind her says.

Sarah resisted the urge to jump and succeeded in staying nestled in her spot. She doesn't even turn around to see who the voice belonged to because she already knew who it was. It was _his_ voice.

It wasn't until he stood next to her she took her eyes away from the trees to look up at him. Her raven hair fell from her face brushing her shoulders.

"Hello Sarah," Kyle said smiling warmly at her.

Not getting up she continued to stare at him taking his features in. Silently her eyes traced every curve of his face until they were locked in with his blue eyes. There were a few cuts and bruises on his cheeks and on his brow. Of course they were trivial scratches but she still noticed them. She noticed everything about him. The rip on his left sleeve and his dishelveled dirty hair. For that moment she let her guard down. For a moment she let herself believe. That he was there with her. That he was still alive…

_"You seemed a little sad, like you were remembering something long gone"_

His gaze never faltered even when she slowly averted her gaze to the ground. Lowering her chin she returned to look ahead at the collection of trees across the way once again.

She was good at lieing to herself.

"You're not real," she said calmly. "None of this is real. It's all just a dream."

"Derek used to take me here when were little," he said ignoring her comment. "Or so he told me. I was too young to remember…It used to be a park."

"This place?" she asked in disbelief. It was hard to believe that the dull and deceased place was a park in her present.

Kyle shook his head slightly. "Hard to believe right?" he said.

It wasn't until her eyes scanned the open field that she realized where she saw this place before. It was the park not too far from her house. She had driven past it many times…he was right. It did look different in the present…The park was always full of kids and families in the day time while couples and teenagers who wanted to cause mischief filled it in the night. But not in Kyle's present. Now no one was there. There were no kids or families. Only broken remnants of what was. This was Kyle world.

"It's the park near the house…" she replied despite her disbelief.

Gravel crushed beneath his feet as he motioned to sit next to her. He mirrored her stature bending his knees and resting his arms on top of them.

"I don't remember anything from before the war. Before all…of this. Everything I saw was like this," he said solemnly. There was a hint of sadness in his voice as he looked at the deserted park.

Sarah sat silently next to him feeling her heart beat against her own chest. He was so close…so close that she could touch him…but she was content with just hearing his voice. So she let him talk. She wanted to hear the voice she loved to hear …the voice that John would never hear.

"Then I saw you," Kyle said. Even then she could hear the amusement in his voice. She didn't even spare him a glance knowing that there was a smirk on his face.

_"I came across time for you, Sarah."_

"All I knew was war. The resistance. Skynet…" he continued on. "But I loved you ever since I saw you…"

Sarah blinked controlling the tears threatening to stream down her cheeks.

It wasn't real.

He wasn't real.

Looking at Kyle he was staring off into the space. He was always so cool, calm, and collected.

"I'm going to stop it. All of it. I'm going to stop it all," she interrupted. Her words cutting into the dead silence. It wasn't until then that she locked eyes with him again. Even though they were filled with determination he could still see the sadness in her eyes.

"So maybe some place in time we could have a normal life…" she lied. They would never have a normal life. They were never meant to be together. There was only a foolish hope that she clung on to. The simple hope that at some time they would see each other again.

Kyle turned his head to her and smiled. "You shouldn't lie Sarah…I'd never lie to you…" he teased.

She tilted her heads towards him and looked at him with sad eyes.

He looked at her with regret and guilt. Guilt for dragging her into this war. Regret that he wasn't there to protect her. There were many things that he was sorry for.

"Sarah…" he said sorrowfully. He reached his hand across to brush her bangs from her face before lingering on her cheek.

"You brought beauty into my life Sarah…in a lifetime of war." He looked at her longingly knowing that she was something he would never have.

"Kyle…" She cupped his hand pressing it closer to her cheek. "Don't leave…" she managed to say. Her brow furrowed as she looked at him desperately. He was the only one who saw her vulnerability. He was the only one she would allow to see her like this.

"Don't leave…" she said choking on her own words.

_"I love you."_

She knew it was stupid. That he was gone forever and never coming back. But Sarah was always good a lieing to herself.

"I'm sorry Sarah…" he managed to say. He withdrew his hand from her face and wrapped his arm around her. And he was sorry. Sorry that he couldn't give her the things that she wanted or do the things that she needed. "I'm so sorry…"

Her head rested upon his chest and she felt the warmth of his body seep into hers. She breathed in his scent and listened closely to the beating of his heart. She wanted to stay here forever because it felt _so real_.

She wanted it to be real.

He pulled her closer to him and rested his chin on the crown of her head. They stayed like this for a moment as Kyle contemplated his next words carefully.

"In another time Sarah…" she heard Kyle begin, "we have John…we have each other…and we're together. Like a normal family…" His voice was just above the level of a whisper as if he was saying something she wasn't allowed to hear. She closed her eyes and continued to listen to his steady heart beat.

She wanted to believe it.

But Kyle never lied to her.

And she knew it wasn't real.

She knew she had to wake up.

She opened her eyes and opened began to say something but he was gone. There was no more chilled night air or deserted park. She was no longer in his arms. Only the familiar walls of her bedroom caged her in as she laid on her bed.

12:37AM

She blinked violently as a bright red light stung her eyes. It was the digital clock on her bed stand. She was in her present again…although she never really left. He was never really there.

These were the memories that came to visit her.

These were the things that haunted her.

These were the reasons why she didn't sleep.

12:38AM

_"I always have"_

_

* * *

_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you j3aless, baramsori, mshig11, xxYoursTrulyxx, midnightwaters, mosherguy18, Cptlatnok, Bella1992, SimonJester479, The Blue Faerie, locaxox, Makokam, Phoenixfire979, dc, NotAllWhoWanderAreAimless, jojobevco, Aaron Leach, Dirt Rider 712, badkidoh, Hinotima24, Shaty, and bookofshadows888 for your reviews!**

**Sorry no Cameron & John in this chapter. But I really wanted to give them a break and do something different. There will be more of them in future chapters. Hope you guys liked this one!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**


	7. Chapter 7

**P3R50NLTY fUNCti0N**

John Connor

&

Cameron Phillips

* * *

"_I had planned on waiting for you with Derek's sniper rifle."_

Her soft footsteps were barely audible as her bare feet brushed against the wooden floor. The pink pajama pants that she wore dragged at her feet because they were slightly too long for her. It was too cold a night to be wearing just a tank top but then again Cameron didn't feel cold. Or at least it was something that she wasn't bothered with.

She had decided to wear pajamas even though it was unnecessary since she didn't sleep. Nonetheless here she was walking in her pink pajama bottoms and white tank top. If anyone didn't know any better they would say that she looked like a normal girl. Or at least…almost normal except for the M041 rifle that she carried in her arms. It crossed diagonally across her chest as she made her way towards the east end of the house.

Just as many times before she would let her mind drift off into her past and John's near future.

* * *

The brunette followed closely at his heels in heat of the battle. There was dirt caked on her face and an evident lesion just above her brow that revealed her endoskeleton underneath. Just a few yards in front of her was John Connor holding a M-4 carbine assault rifle. He too, just like her, had a laceration that extended from the bottom of his left cheek to the corner of his eye. Except there blood flowed freely from the cut unlike hers.

In the midst of all the chaos she kept a watchful eye on him, knowing his location at all times. She would check constantly, looking over her shoulder, as if afraid that he would leave her behind. There were only a few of them from the twenty that began the raid.

Glancing to her left she locked onto his location. There were two other people with him who she did not bother identifying. He was roughly only thirty two meters away. She continued to observe him until they locked eyes. He gave her a reassuring nod as if to calm her nerves. She watched him pull out a walkie talkie, which every raider was equipped with, from his belt. From her position she saw his mouth move as he spoke into the mouth piece. There was a .53 second delay until his message and his voice reached her communication device latched on to her waist.

"Our target is the main factory's power source located on the lower level," she heard him say. "We only have a limited window so get in, get out. No mistakes."

The heat from the fire the raiders had set as a distraction was beginning to warm her cheek. From her standpoint she watched several terminators leave the complex from the west entrance and towards the flames. It was several seconds until she heard hurried footsteps and gravel being crushed beneath someone's weight. Looking up she saw the barrel of rifle pointed at her skull just above the tip of her ear. She spared the intruder a simple glance and identified him.

_Scanning… … … Retrieving Files… … …_

_Name: Male - Derek Reese. _

_Age: Middle Thirties. _

_Known Affiliations: Resistance Member. General John Connor's uncle. _

_Other Information: Refrain from using girlfriend vernacular _

He wasn't going to shoot her…no…but that didn't mean the temptation wasn't still there. His arm dropped along with the rifle to his side as she kneeled down beside her.

"Derek Reese. The west entrance is one hundred thirty three point sixty four yards north east of our position. Factoring your weight and physical fitness it will take you twelve point fifty four seconds to reach the destination point. I will make it in ten point thirty four," Cameron stated in monotone.

The older male cocked an eyebrow at the machine. . He would have argued, but he knew that it was no use. However that didn't stop him from developing an irrefutable hatred of _it_. Tilting his rifle he checked his gun for the third time that night. It was loaded…it always was. Old habits seemed to die hard.

"Why don't you just worry about your self and the mission before you start worrying about me," he rebuked using a spiteful tone.

The brunette stared at him and blinked dubiously. "It will take you two point twenty two more seconds to reach the objective. You will go first and I will follow," she began. "I will cover you."

Derek fought back a scoff as he tore his eyes away from hers. He let his head fall to the ground and tried to shake off the many thoughts in his head. If he could he would kill his nephew for making him work with her. There were so many other thoughts. There were so many proceedings that shouldn't have been done.

She shouldn't have been there.

She shouldn't have been fighting with them.

She shouldn't have been assigned to this mission.

If it was up to Derek he would have taken his gun and pointed it to the back of her head. Taken his pocket knife and stab it deep into her skull ripping out her chip as he did so. It would have solved a lot of his problems and he would probably be praised for his efforts. He knew that he wasn't the only one that wanted her gone.

Only on problem: John.

There were several things wrong with her presence in the resistance but most of all it was her intimacy with John that send people over the edge. People would ask what was it that he saw in that metal? And Derek knew it was because she looked like _her._ And it was because she looked like _her,_ was the reason he had kept her around for so long. Or at least that's what he thought…

"I don't need your help, Metal," Derek argued

He took a quick survey of the field and when it was clear he kicked off from his crouched position. He ran gaining speed with step. He sprinted off to the west entrance leaving Cameron behind without sparing a second glance.

She watched him leave their cover until he was a few yards away. Twenty point twenty two seconds later she followed him.

* * *

"_Pull the trigger."_

Her eyes scanned the yard from the window onto two shadowed figures about fifty meters away. To the natural eye they would appear as fleeting shadows or two vague figures. Except to Cameron she could see the distinct face of John with a familiar blonde. The pupil of her eye dilated as she zoomed in on the two people.

Riley stood adjacent to John wearing a flirtatious smile. Her head tilted slightly caused her blonde hair to fall softly on her profile as John stood across from her with a yielding smirk on his face. The two seemed to be talking carelessly and oblivious to the world around them.

_Requesting offensive systems…_

_Authorization Required._

_Cameron Phillips_.

_Accepted. Booting up offensive systems…_

He didn't understand. Riley was a threat and that he put her in danger. But he wouldn't listen. Not to Sarah, not to Derek, and not to her.

But she understood a lot more than John knew.

_Offensive systems online. Welcome Cameron Phillips._

_Termination analysis. Target: Female; Riley. _

_Termination not required_

_Override. Activate Termination. _

_Input Target: Female. Riley_

_Location: 48.35 meters north. _

_

* * *

  
_

There were three of them now. Derek, Cameron, and John. And there were only nine raiders left when the team made the move to enter the factory. Derek and John were breathing heavily while Cameron kept a watchful eye as they caught their breath. Blood, sweat, and dirt mixed on their skin. The slash on Cameron's brow had grown into a large gash going down her left eye to reveal the red hardware underneath. Now more than ever she looked like the machine that everyone tried to make Connor see.

They were several meters away from the factory's power source. All they had to do was place and set explosives so they could set it off from the outside. Derek ruffled through his pack and took out the three chargers to set them.

Meanwhile Connor checked his gun to see that it was half loaded. He only had one more magazine before he would be out of ammunition. If he was worried it didn't reveal on his face. Beside him Cameron watched him keenly. Upon seeing his low supplies she reached into her pocket revealing her last magazine. She looked at it briefly before holding it out to him.

He caught her movement at the corner of his eyes and it took a second to realize her intentions.

"There are nine raiders remaining from the initial twenty. We are out numbered and my functioning capacity has dropped significantly. There is only a seventy four percent chance of survival and sixty seven percent chance of success. This will increase your offense by two percent," she explained to him.

He looked at her as she tried to read the emotion in his features. There was a hint puzzlement and sadness reflected in his eyes.

She was always trying to protect him.

She was looking after him, even now in the future when she didn't have to. Even when she wasn't told or programmed to.

He understood why she did the things she did and why she acted the way she acted. Sometimes she was completely illogical and irrational. Sometimes reckless and thoughtless with all disregard to her sense of self preservation.

But even with the metal exposed she was different from the rest of them.

Because sometimes she showed compassion. Sometimes she showed concern. And sometimes she did things that she did because she _wanted_ to.

It only took a moment before he gave her his answer.

"Keep it because either way I'm not leaving without you," he replied seriously.

Cameron tilted her head in confusion and even with her half metal face he swore he could see the confusion and concern in her eyes.

Before she was allowed to talk Derek shoved a charger in each of their hands while holding one in his own. Cameron and Connor both looked at Derek surprised. Up until now he hadn't said anything and his presence was forgotten.

"They're all ready. All we need to do is set them in place," Derek said firmly.

Connor nodded turning to take a survey of the area. "Let's get to work," he said sharply.

Beside him Cameron reluctantly pocketed the magazine.

She knew better than to argue with John Connor.

* * *

"_One shot."_

Cameron took note of their position doing several calculations.

It would only take the bullet one point three seconds to breach the blonde. Her hand gripped the handle of the M041 rifle as she lightly brushed the trigger. Riley and John continued to talk as Cameron watched intently from afar. She focused on the female as the M041 rifle in her arms lifted up to her eye level.

It was a clear shot.

And she would only need one.

It was almost too easy.

But…she was a threat…and she had to protect John.

* * *

"_Do you know how bad I'd have felt?"_

It was complete confusion and disarray. There were too many things to examine and calculate. The flames consuming the building lit up the shadows before it turned into smoke filling the sky. The eight remaining raiders were running towards the convoys eager to make an evacuation. As the people ran past her she was facing the other way towards the inferno taking small steps towards _him._

Her eyes zoomed in on John as he and another resistance fighter tried to fight off a T-950.

_Scanning…Retrieving files_

_Confirmed: John Connor and Blair Williams._

_Location: 102.4 meter SW. _

_Retrieving Files… … …_

_Name: Female; Blair Willaims_

_Age: 28_

_Occupation: Pilot_

_Known Affiliations: Resistance _

Taking a step forward she loaded her rifle with her last magazine she tried to give to Connor. Her left leg suffered a deep cut down to her endoskeleton causing her steps to stagger. With her full functioning capability she would be able to reach them in a matter of seconds but her damages were starting to hinder her.

There was a barely audible clicking sound with each step she took from the metal in her leg. Her HUD flashed red as a warning replayed over and over.

_Warning. _

_Damage to left femoral endoskeleton. _

_Multiple components needed of repair. _

_Immediate attention required. _

_Failure to do so result in automatic shut down. _

_Warning. Damage…. _

She didn't care. She needed to get to him.

From far away she saw John sprint towards the machine. It was like a scene from a nightmare. One of the T-950's eyes had been damaged and had lost its red glow. An arm was missing and most of its torso was covered in blood…most likely a human's blood.

Blair, whom had stumbled when trying to escape, was crawling on the ground. As she tried to crawl back up the cyborg reached down with its one arm and grabbed the girl by her back collar hurling her up off the ground effortlessly.

"Blair!" John called he ran closer to them.

He saw the fear I her eyes as her raven hair fell down in front of her face. She tried to squirm free clawing at the metal arm that held her captive.

"Connor!" she managed to cough out. "Run!"

He ignored her request as he continued towards them. Sweat and blood dripped down his face as he pulled up his gun. As the T-950 held up the petite female it left him open and vulnerable to attack. With its extensive damage it wouldn't take a lot to take it down.

He would only need one shot.

The terminator looked at him stationary for a moment but it was too late. He was too late to calculate his mistake as Connor pulled back the trigger.

Connor froze.

There was no sound.

No bullet.

No shot.

Connor struggled with the rifle as he pulled the trigger again...and again…several times until he came to the realization that he had no more ammunition.

_Damn._

"Connor!" Blair cried as she chocked in pain kicking at the cyborg.

"Shit!!" he cursed as he dropped his gun.

It didn't take long for the cyborg to analyze what had just happened. As if satisfied it took a step forward towards Connor still holding the girl up in its arm.

In Connor's eyes there was a flash of fear before he started to formulate a plan in his head…except…

There was no plan.

There was no escape.

But there was Cameron.

She had finally made her way towards him despite her functional state. Standing adjacent to the three of them she glanced back and forth between John and the Terminator whom still held Blair captive. Her face revealed no emotion as she pulled the M401 rifle up.

_Analyzing… … …_

_Ammunition: Low_

_Objective: Protect John Connor. _

She pointed it at the terminator and the female.

"Oh god…" he whispered out loud.

Realization hit John for the second time that night as he saw Cameron aiming for the machine…with Blair in front of it.

_Warning._

She was aiming for the T-950 and she wasn't going to try to save Blair while she was at it.

_Immediate attention required…_

"Wait! Cameron!! Wait!! " John yelled at her. He felt his mind pull him in two different directions. One towards Blair the faithful and loyal resistance fighter or hyperalloy combat chassis.

_Initiating automatic shut down_

But she wasn't going to listen to him.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

The sound of the firing rifle echoed through the empty space several times. John watched in horror as he watched each bullet hit Blair going through her fragile body piercing the T-950's endoskeleton on the other side. The terminator dropped the female's lifeless body as it slumped down to the ground with each shot. But even when it was down on the ground she continued to fire until she was out of bullets. Until the terminator and the female laid dead side by side on the ground.

"Cameron! No!!" He called in vain watching the horrid scene unfold.

_Shutting down_

But his pleas never reached her.

John watched as the rifle fell from Cameron's hand before her body crashed down to the ground just as Blair's and the T-950's.

"Cameron!!"

But his words would never reach her.

"_Not bad at all."_

_

* * *

  
_

Cameron stood still as if she was waiting for something. Calculating. She was frozen in time with her finger on the trigger.

From the shadows was still watching them with the gun in her hand ready to shoot. She calculated how the much the glass would slow the bullets momentum and how long it would take for her to terminate if the bullet reached her head instead of her heart. Riley's lips moved as she spoke meaningless talk to John.

And then he smiled once again.

He looked at Riley with relaxed eyes as he laughed at whatever it was that the blonde had said.

Cameron's eyes lingered on him studying his features. He was so easy to read unlike him in the future. She had seen that face on him before…she didn't see it too much in the future.

He didn't smile often in the future. Because in the future there were only a few fleeting glances where she caught a look of regret or sadness.

And she didn't want him to stop smiling.

She stepped away from the window lowering her rifle. They were on the front porch now. They were close enough that she could hear their conversation if she wanted to…but she didn't. Waiting in the shadows she watched them smile and laugh awkwardly. John had his hands in his pockets while Riley had her hands folded in front of her.

She saw Riley's lips move and John to shift his weight uncomfortably. The girl twisted her body and inched closer…and closer.

* * *

"_But I know someone who would have felt bad._

The convoy rocked back and forth on the dirt path. It was making its way towards the base with three inhabitants. Two were human and one was machine. Derek sat in the passengers seat as John sat beside him driving. Meanwhile Cameron's lifeless body was laid in the back.

Her clothes were torn and tattered just as John and Derek's. They each had suffered their fair share of injuries but Cameron looked as if she was falling apart. For the duration of the ride they sat in silence.

When they reached the base Connor carried Cameron's body into one of the many rooms and began to work on her damages. There were many whispers and stares as he carried her through the camp. It didn't help that the majority of her skin was missing and the metal was clearly visible. There was no damage to her chip only her body so it wouldn't take long until he would have her back online. He continued to work in silence for an hour until the he heard the door open.

He let out a sigh not looking up from his work. "I said for no one to bother me."

"So are you going to tell me what happened back there?" Derek asked ignoring him.

Connor knew it was coming.

"What are you-"

"Where the hell is Blair?" he asked accusingly.

"I told you. I'm not explaining this to you again," he rebuked. He barely spared Derek a glance as he continued to work.

"That's not what I meant," Derek added.

"Then why don't you say what you mean," he snapped back.

"I mean," Derek started "What the hell are you going to do about it?"

"It…meaning…"

"The fucking machine Connor!" Derek yelled finally snapping. "Don't play stupid with me. What are you going to do about the _Metal," _he said looking at Cameron for a moment. "If you asked me you should get rid of her now…it would be easier now that she's shut down."

Derek took a dangerous step towards Cameron.

Out of the corner of his eye John saw this movement. He sprang from his chair almost knocking it backwards. He had a look of anger and turned to face his uncle, standing in between him and Cameron. "Don't--"

"Don't what Connor? You're going to pick that machine over your own people? She killed Blair in cold blood! Or don't you remember?" Derek interrupted.

"You don't think I know that!?" John started to yell. "She was trying to _help!_"

"Yeah I don't think you know that. Or maybe you've forgotten that there are people outside that are willing to die for you. Just like Blair did. The metal is dangerous and unpredictable."

"And what human isn't? What would you have done if you were in Cameron's situation? Huh Derek? She did the one thing that she thought was necessary," John argued.

Derek paused contemplating his next words. His eyes fell on Cameron's body and he shook his head in disapproval. He couldn't believe that he was trying to fix her. "She needs to go, Connor." He dared to take another step towards the machine.

Before he could take the step John placed a firm hand on Derek's chest to stop him in his tracks.

"No one touches her," he said firmly.

* * *

_Someone who would never forgive me if I had done that."_

A small click echoed in the silence as John entered the house. As she stood in the shadows she focused in on his lips that curved slightly at the corners forming a smile. He never smiled…anymore…at least not to her. But here he was smiling as he walked through the front door.

He only smiled when he was the Riley.

"Why does she make you smile?" Cameron blurted out.

Cameron's sudden outburst caused John to jump back nearly knocking into the wall as he tried to find her location. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark lit room. It wasn't until later that he saw her standing in the shadows near the window.

"What the hell are you doing there?!" he asked after regaining his composure. He kept his voice at a reasonable level. After all everyone else was asleep…more or less.

"I'm securing the perimeter," was her reply.

He looked at her skeptically. He opened his mouth to speak but wasn't able to formulate any words. It wasn't that she was cradling and assault rifle. Cameron carrying a gun wasn't anything out of the ordinary. But he kept looking at her up and down trying to make sense of the scene before him. She was barefoot nonetheless with pink pajama pants with a white tank top that showed her navel. Her brown curls swept around her round shoulders and her slender arms. He blinked before he was able to snap himself out of it.

"Wait---What…are you wearing??" he finally asked her giving her a judgmental look.

Cameron tilted her chin down looking at her outfit as if she had forgotten what she was wearing.

"Pajamas."

John shook his head in frustration at her one word answer. "No—I mean. I see that. _Why _are you wearing them?" he asked her folding his arms in front of his chest.

The cyborg tilted her head as if confused at his question. He would get a simple answer to his simple question.

"It's night time," she replied.

"I know that but you don't sleep. You don't need to wear any pajamas," he said.

"Yes, you are right. I do not sleep but Sarah does not approve when I walk around without clothes."

John let out a defeated sigh knowing that he would never receive a logical explanation for her attire…or at least one that he wanted to hear.

"Alright whatever…" he finally said turning to go up the stair way.

Before he did so he saw Cameron return to watching out the window with the gun in her arms as if she was scared someone would take it away from her.

A nagging question poked at his mind as he saw her looking out the window.

"We're you spying on me?" he asked pivoting to face her once again.

Without glancing back at him she gave him another one answer question.

"No."

He looked at her wanting more information but knew he was waiting in vain.

"I was securing the perimeter," she added as her eyes scanned the front porch. "You should not have been with Riley-"

"That's none of your business" he interrupted.

"In an open area," she continued. "You made yourself and her an easy target. You should be more careful."

"So…what? You were just lurking her in the shadows like a freaky stalker ready to shoot her if she tried anything?" he asked half sarcastic but afraid of the answer.

This time Cameron turned to face him as if angered by his question. She took a step forward and lowered her voice to an almost inaudible whisper.

"If I was going to kill her I would have done it already," she said with a blank face.

She lingered in his presence for another moment before turning on her heel. Taking her gun with her she continued to secure the perimeter leaving John to his thoughts alone in the dark. John furrowed his brow looking at her fleeting form before he managed to step back. For a moment he could have sworn he saw something.

A memory?

Guilt?

Something that she remembered long ago.

He didn't know…

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles**

**Thank you DragonSeraphin, KirijamaScion, yume girl 91, xxYoursTrulyxx, and badkidoh for your reviews!**

**Yay! So more John and Cameron in this chapter...sorry it was so long!  
**


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